
Dear Burger King,
I don't like the grey meat you serve for burgers, I hate the taste of your fake BBQ style food. For years, if there were a choice of YOU or NOTHING, my fatass has chose to eat NOT A DAYUM THING.
However, in recent years you have lured me through your glass finger-print smudged doors with the introduction of the MOCHA JOE - the yahoo-and-coffee concoction some brilliant associate of yours stumbled upon a ways back.
Then, one day, clear out of the sky, the genius of the BURGER KING CHEESY TOT was born. I could not tell you how much I loved your establishment from that moment on. I gladly seek you out every where and have burned much gas in my pursuit to find you. I have become a very willing suitor for you and your seductive wiles.
Week after week I have turned into a TYRONE BIGGUMS type Connossiuer of your processed cheese goodness. Imagine the look on my addicted face when I found out this morning that they were discontinued.
Yes, there are no words.
When the runny-nosed Burger King Manager looking sleep-deprived with weave in disarray mouthed the words to me in her morning breath, "BURGER KING HAS DISCONTINUED TATER TOTS."

I was stunned. What Brilliant health nut in corporate laid down that law? You my friend are a F*cking Idiot! I cancelled my order and decided, there was nothing else I could possibly eat. I'd rather take my money elsewhere.
Thanks for messing up a good thing. Hope you go out of business.
Another One Bites The Dust,
Irene Ocasio