I like to watch people. The ones who think no one's watching and go for that dry booger in their nose. The ones who's pants bunch between their thighs and they do that funny walk/switch to loosen it. The shameless ones who just pull it out. Of course, the farters. They let it out thinking no one is in ear shot, but then they don't realize how loud a moose horn it is. Then they play "who done it"?
My favorite are the couples. The ones who walked with interlocked fingers. Arms crossed around waists. The mixed race couples that even though your a NYer and have seen it before, give you that 30 second delay. The couples you wonder WTF??? How did superstar Barbie wind up with Bob Marley???
I like to make them a tapestry in my mind, stitch by stitch. I wonder how they met. What was their first date like? If they "did it" yet, and if so how was it? Sometimes I wish they could pass me an answer sheet to see how close I am to their mark. They always look so happy. Like someone screamed "ACTION" on the "Happy Play", and they knew I was coming. They make me a little envious. Literally walking the path least traveled and smashing acorns. I think about their happiness and wish they would let me hold it. Like a cute baby. Just for a minute.
If the eyes are the window to the soul. I purposely have Big FAT DARK drapes on mine. The kind that let out a big breeze of dust particles in the streak of sunlight when you move them. I don't want anyone to see passed the sun's glare of their own reflection in my brown eyes. I don't want people seeing my naked, (sometimes dark), soul. No one can see that sometimes I can be evil.
Sometimes I envy.
I see what they have and I want it. I want it so much I secretly wish it was me. I assume their happy in everything. Because for a moment in time I have them thanking the academy when no one has nominated them yet. They fooled a real critic - they fooled me.
But not everybody is happy. We are all actors that way. We know that when we step out in the world we have to put on our game face. When we step out the door - ACTION!
Just because you see a couple with their game face on - doesn't make them happy. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors. You don't live with them. You have no idea what is going on behind closed doors. The vicious fights, the lies, the cheating, the beatings. Not every relationship is like that. YES! There is such a thing as happily ever after. There are real happy couples out there.
But maybe, all the single men and women who find themselves lonely and longing are single for a reason. Their stop on the bus hasn't come yet. They are being forced to hold out for the good one even though sometimes they would rather not.
We don't know the real deal on the people we wish we had. Whether we like it or not -we are all being forced to be careful what we wish for.
